


Always Plan Ahead

by babydragon7



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
Genre: First Time, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:41:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28819416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babydragon7/pseuds/babydragon7
Summary: “I told you, I would have shot you”.“No, you would not. You like me too much. I know you’ve trashed the room because you were sorry you had to kill me”.“I told you already it was all part of the plan”.
Relationships: Illya Kuryakin/Napoleon Solo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 49





	Always Plan Ahead

**Author's Note:**

> Do not own anything.
> 
> Just borrowed the characters to play.

When Gaby has nothing else to do, like right now, she often turns on her favorite show ‘Ilya and Napoleon’. She always has several bugs on them, they are aware of, but also places some additional ones in their room just in case. It is not paranoia, if it saves your life one day, right?

Also to hear them bickering is always so much fun. Better then watch some romantic comedy really. She can just imagine them exchanging looks, well, in Ilya’s case more like scowls, with electric current running between them. Anyway, she would not miss it for the world.

Tonight, the floor down from her, in their room, boys seem to revisit their first mission. Gaby makes herself comfortable and opens a can of beer.

“But really, Peril. What would you do, if I have not given your watch back?”

“I told you, I would have shot you”.

“No, you would not. You like me too much. I know you’ve trashed the room because you were _sorry_ you had to kill me”.

“I told you already it was all part of the plan”.

“Don’t tell me you’ve been prepared like a good boy scout”.

“Young pioneer in my case. I am always prepared. There were couple of variables. However, I had a plan, yes”.

“Please, tell me, Peril. Pretty please”.

“Ok. So first – the room. I did trash it on purpose. To make everyone believe I had a spike of anger. When I came to your room I had a recording device on, so I could prove to my superiors, I really shot you”.

“Oh”.

Now Solo sounds upset, like it was something out of the equation all along. Like it was not something spies did, especially rivals.

“Hold your horses, Cowboy. I had put blanks in and one real bullet. I planned to graze you slightly first and then fire a round of blanks. I was hoping to crash the case, burn the tape and tell my superiors you’ve destroyed it and was punished”.

“Huh, not bad. But what if I would actually shoot you myself?”

“I gave it about an 80% chance you would not. You are a terrible spy, but surprisingly decent partner. In any case, do you know what turtlenecks are good for?”

“Showing one’s abominable taste?”

Gaby snickers. These too are as subtle as a neon sign.

“You’re really are asking for it, do you? I had a bulletproof vest on. But it turned out you had a surprise for me. I was… it was good. Your plan was good”.

“So do I deserve a reward? You know, for such a nice surprise”.

Ilya is silent for a moment. Then his voice turns so raspy, Gaby is sure she is missing the ultimate eye-fuck.

“What would you like?”

“Oh, I don’t know. But I think a little spanking would do wonders for improving my mood…”

“Finally”, Gaby thinks, “I should have gotten a popcorn…”

She hears rustling and then something that sounds suspiciously like a smooch.

“Wait one minute, Cowboy” Ilya says. “Now, Gaby, please. It is time for you to turn the receiver off”.

Gaby grumbles, but complies, even though it is a one-way thing and they cannot be sure if she is listening or not. No fun they are, those always prepared Soviet spies. Well, she might as well revisit the mini-bar and check what is on TV.


End file.
